O' Reilly Named Fibber of the Year

Read here. That Paris Business Review quote (#4) still cracks me up.

I bet he was lying about liking falafels so much too....

O'Reilly fabricated "Paris Business Review" as source for success of French boycott. O'Reilly falsely claimed "they've lost billions of dollars in France according to 'The Paris Business Review'" due to an American boycott he advocated of French imports. Media Matters for America found no evidence of a publication named "The Paris Business Review."

So You've Decided to Become a Neocon....

Do you want to be a new-wave conservative, but not sure you can support Bush without vomiting. Just follow my new self-help guide and you'll be well on your way!!!!

1. Pretend the evil actions by one Arab, or a small group of Arabs, should be countered by the nuking of an entire country. If you've said that we should level Iraq the next time al Qaida attacks someone in Afghanistan, CONGRATULATIONS!!!! You're well on your way to becoming a neocon.

2. Act as if Bush should not be impeached for sending children to die for a WMD's that aren't there, but become real belligerent that Clinton wasn't for lying about a BJ when they were investigating a completely unrelated land deal. Please remember, Bush was druggie alcoholic until he was 40, but don't worry, he found God!!!! He's exempt from normal moral platitudes in regards to lying, humility, and the poor, just like the rest of us!!!!

3. A lot of people can actually study economics, foreign policy, and complex domestic programs, but it takes a real straight-shooter to go on gut, and not some fancy-pants liberal education. Going to get more education is for complete pussies, just pretend you know Social Security will be bankrupt soon!!!! If someone asks for more details why you think that, just shrug and shake your head and say, "Look, I just know it will......you let President Godsend worry about the details." That should fix that un-patriotic hippie's wagon.

4. The Bible doesn't recognize fags, so why should you? The rational part of your brain tells you that homo's are real people with real feelings just like you or me, but the holy side of your brain tells the other side that its going to hell too if it doesn't straighten out. Listen, if God would've wanted butt pirates to marry, He would've said so, or at the very least told an angel to mention it to someone in the Bible. Maybe Matthew, or Jacob, or like Jerome or someone like that.....

5. Speaking of the bible, don't forget to just cherry-pick the parts you like, and leave the rest for complete morons!!!! If you like all the gay-hating parts of the bible, but don't care too much about taking care of the poor, then you're in luck, the Republican party is for you!!!! Remember, Jesus would want you to save the fetus, but he wouldn't want you to care about clothing or educating it, that's obviously someone else's problem.

Follow these quick, simple steps and you'll be the best Republican, like, EVER!!!!!

Downward Spiral

I'm not sure if anyone else has caught this, but O' Reilly is clearly coming unhinged. He's going batshit crazy and we've all got front rows seats. Maybe he's eaten too many falafels.....

Just a Quick Word on the "Assault on Christmas"

Look, if I want to say "Happy Holidays", because I don't know if you're Jewish, Christian, Muslim, Native American, purple, Agnostic, a deep sea diver or an alien, what the hell do you care? Do you really give a shit? And if you do, why? Will that spoil your Christmas? Will it?

If You're One of the People that Suddenly Think Bush is Doing a Poor Job in Iraq

Please note, there's been absolutely no change in Iraq between now and our election. So when people talk about Iraq and you say, "Get rid of Rumsfeld." or "This thing was planned poorly from the start.", but you voted for Bush, congratulations, you're an idiot.

While a slight majority believes the Iraq war contributed to the long-term security of the United States, 70 percent of Americans believe these gains have come at an "unacceptable" cost in military casualties. This led 56 percent to conclude that, given the cost, the conflict there was "not worth fighting" -- an eight-point increase from when the same question was asked last summer, and the first time a decisive majority of people has reached this conclusion.

Anytime Someone Tells You Stem Cells Haven't Been Proven to Work.

You can tell them to stick it.

Surgeons have used stem cells from fat to help repair skull damage in a 7-year-old girl in Germany, in what’s apparently the first time such fat-derived cells have been exploited to grow bone in a human.

Book Reviews!!!!

My friend who reads this page suggested I do some book reviews, which I think is a great idea. Unfortunately he also watched the movie 3 on ESPN, so what the hell does he know. Unfortunately, it's also a bad idea for another reason. I'm a great book starter, but a terrible book finisher. I'm in the middle of reading like 34 books, but here's my reviews of the books so far......

The Da Vinci Code by Dan Brown
Everyone and their mother has read this. It's being made into a movie with Tom Hanks I think. Tom Hanks will play a symbolist who has a knack for wearing Mickey Mouse watches. Very quaint. Let's move on.....

The 9/11 Commission Report by (you guessed it) the 9/11 Commission (or the National Commission on Terrorist Attacks)
I've only read like 30 pages in to this, but it's got a lot of twists and turns. I'd give more of a review but I'm lazy.

The Republican Noise Machine by David Brock
If you visit Media Matters you really don't need to buy this book, but it's out on paperback now too. It's pretty much a list of dicky things Republicans say or do. There's a lot of history on how the Republicans built up their propaganda machine, but I pretty much skipped everything that happened before I was born. It gives me a real sense of accomplishment to skip that far ahead.

Band of Brothers by Stephen E. Ambrose
This is a quality book. I actually read about half of the book before I borrowed and watched the series on DVD. Both are very good. Even Mrs. Nobody liked the HBO series. The book is great to get some background on everything and has great detail on what is perhaps the most interesting time in United States history. I would've totally shoved a grenade up a Nazi's ass or something had I been alive back then. It was the cool thing to do back then I'm told.

Plan of Attack by Bob Woodward
I'm like 3/4 of the way through this book, so "hooray for me, HOORAY FOR ME!!!". This book is actually very funny. You get the sense very quickly that George W., is in fact, a boy king. His servants show him presentations on how to invade Middle Eastern countries, and with no debate at all, he either voices his approval or displeasure with the wave of a hand. You would almost wonder where Bush gets his expertise, but then you would remember that He was appointed by God, so.........

Anywho, that's all for now. Hail Satan.

My Goodness

That was the most offensive episode of South Park I have ever seen. It was hilarious!!! Just so you know, a blood orgy breaks out between forest critters that have just sacrificed a bunny. I thought I was going to pee my pants.

I Don't Know Why...

But Sean Hannity is my favorite neocon wingnut. I think the reason I love him is because people like O' Falafel and Rush "Oxycontin High" Limbaugh know they're bullshitting. They know the bullshit that spews from their cakehole is a big pile of cow dung, and they're doing the RNC's bidding out of self-interest and greed. It's all about the money.

But Hannity....Hannity's different. He believes the Republican Talking Points to their core. I believe he takes the Republican Talking Points home. And he lays down at night, with his little pajamas with the footies on them. And he curls up in a little ball and he holds that piece of paper so close to his heart. He whispers to them. Tells them he'll make them true. Nuzzles that piece of paper. Kisses it and loves that Talking Points Memo.

Media Matters has documented FOX News' peddling -- led by Hannity -- of a false report that Stevens Creek Elementary School in Cupertino, California, banned the Declaration of Independence because it mentions God.

More Hannity here.

Elian Gonzalez

I'm not sure why I'm putting this up here. Human interest story. But here's an update on everyone's favorite Cuban.

3: A Brief Synopsis of the Movie on ESPN

Somebody Else Beside Dale Earnhardt: But Dale, you can't race, you're not a good man/father/driver.

Dale Earnhardt: Damnit, yes I am Daddy/wifey/YOU!!! You paint that 3 on my racin' car cause I'm gonna go russle me up a victory.

I didn't watch it, but I'm guessing this is how it went for 2 hours.......

Start Using the Word "Elite" to Libs Advantage Now

John Holbo calls this one just right. It's time to take the political fight to those claiming "moral" superiority.

Once you put the problem that way, the solution is obvious. Let's get in the habit of calling Republican moral elitists: 'the moral elite', 'morally elite', 'moral elitists'. Just use the terms as flat descriptors for anyone proposing to legislate morality in any of the usual ways. Just to change things up, sometimes you use: 'morally superior' to designate the attitude. And 'moral superiors' to designate the tribe. Maybe you start to distinguish, as a matter of course, between legislation that ensures 'moral superiority' and the regular stuff. Talk about Repubicans taking 'necessary moral superiority measures'.
....
It should be hard for Republicans to unstick this stuff from themselves, if accurately applied, because what are they going to do: deny that they are morally superior? In the context of, say, proposing to legislate against gay marriage, can they deny that they think they are morally superior to those who think this stuff would be alright? If they deny they are morally superior, then what do they think they are doing? Letting your neighbor be is such a fundamental American value that it is very embarrassing to be on the wrong side of it, as Republican often are these days.
...
Suppose the victims say: no fair picking on us. Democrats have their own moral values that they believe are best. So they're an elite, same as us. This is true, but a loser, because this is a truth Republicans are at great pains to keep under wraps. If the truth that Democrats have moral values shines forth, a favorite trick no long works: pretending Democratic and/or liberal values aren't moral values.

'Nuff said.

The Answer: They're Recalling 70 Year Old Men for Duty in Iraq

The Question: What is a huge indicator there's going to be a draft, Alex?

Think I'm lying? Read it here. (via Jesus General)

Dr. John Caulfield thought it had to be a mistake when the Army asked him to return to active duty. After all, he's 70 years old and had already retired - twice.

McCain in 2008

Looks like the 2008 campaign for President has already begun. McCain's suddenly taken a harder line on Rummy:

My answer is still no. No confidence
...
There are very strong differences of opinion between myself and Secretary Rumsfeld on that issue.

Oooooh look at McCain. I guess when W isn't around to hug, he goes all hardcore.

When asked about being President:

In a couple of years I might give it some consideration, but not right now.

So before the election, McCain was gung ho for Bush. Bush was his man, his pal, his amigo. And why were McCain and Bush bestest buds forever? Because of how Bush has handled "terra" and the War in Iraq in general. And who was taking care of that situation? Why the SecDef, of course. But now that Bush is a lame duck President, it's time for McCain to head to that great land called the Center.

This is called something. I can't remember. What's it called when you take a stance one way, and then turn around and stand for something else for the benefit of your campaign. Oh well, I'm sure YOU remember.....

Here's $20 on a McCain in 2008 announcement for Presidency.

Snicker.....

James Wolcott on Bernie Kerik:

Kerik exuded too much quiet authority and dramatic effect, trying a shade too hard to convey that he knew things he couldn't speak of and was working from the deep inside, privy to secrets that he carried locked inside the bank vault of his barrel chest. I could see how this tough-guy shtick--which obviously wasn't entirely shtick, but a tough streak that had been refined into an urban lawman persona--would impress fake swaggarts like, well, George Bush, who likes to play dress-up as a range hand and fighter pilot to show what a Hungry man entree he is.

A Good Story....

A town divided by the Iraq War. A damn fine story about how even remembering the fallen of war separates people.

Read it here.

MoveOn Calls Dibs

Read the article, here.

A scathing e-mail from the head of MoveOn's political action committee to the group's supporters on Thursday targets outgoing Democratic National Committee chairman Terry McAuliffe as a tool of corporate donors who alienated both traditional and progressive Democrats.

"For years, the party has been led by elite Washington insiders who are closer to corporate lobbyists than they are to the Democratic base," said the e-mail from MoveOn PAC's Eli Pariser. "But we can't afford four more years of leadership by a consulting class of professional election losers."

I think MoveOn just wants to bring the fight to each and every district, city, municipality and state. Take the gloves off. Pass the popcorn........

Our Fabulous Neighbor to the North

I must admit, every time FOX does a story on how sucky France or Canada is, I admire that country that much more.

Don't mind the fact I've only been to Niagara to drink before I'm 21. And France, oh I will wait to sample your wines, your delicacies. One day when the dollar isn't getting bitch-slapped by the Euro, I will taste your geese and ducks and butter-drenched platters.

But, oh Canada, you've done it again. That's right. More here.
The ruling, on a draft law, cleared the final obstacle for Canada to follow the Netherlands and Belgium in authorizing same-sex marriage. Spain is moving in a similar direction.

Legalizing gay marriage is the coolest!!! Everyone's doing it!!!
Prime Minister Paul Martin said he had wrestled with the issue, but did not believe Canada could have "two classes of citizens."

Someone forgot to tell PAUL there's fundamentalists and non-fundamentalists.....

Oh Canada, how I love thee....if only I could celebrate by watching a hockey game...but....well you can't have everything.


- Plus fait douceur que violence
French Proverb
[Kindness succeeds where force will fail]

I Am Not Smart

Really? No shit.

Well it's true. I have an interest in politics but not a great depth of knowledge at it. More of a basic understanding. That's why I like the New York Times, but find it's lengthiness a bore sometimes. When people on MSNBC start getting into on economic policy, I'll zone out. Too dry. If I see a really long post on one of my favorite blogs, I'll skim.

But this longer post is worth it. It really is. If you're going to just read one thing this year I link to, make this be it. It covers the war on terror from a liberal point of view. It addresses our shortcomings and our strengths, and address basic problems we have been unable to even identify. Most importantly, it's tremendously accessible. It's a great read, and written at a level that's within my reading comprehension.

I think conservatives and liberals both would enjoy reading it. It's more disparaging to liberals and Democrats more than anyone else, so if you read this page with any regularity, that may be somewhat refreshing.

I don't want to take excerpts from it because it's that damn good. Please read it.

Helpful Financial Tip

Today on Johnny Nobody's Financial Tip, Johnny has a real special tip for you:

"The Dollar's screwed. Invest in Euro's"

Wow Johnny, really bleak. Thanks. Now to sports.....

This has been another edition of Johnny Nobody's Financial Tips. Join us next time when Johnny teaches us how to keep the yolk from breaking when you flip an egg.

Perception

For the great majority of mankind are satisfied with appearances, as though they were realities, and are more often influenced by things that seem than by things that are.

--Niccolo Machiavelli

Just When You Think It Couldn't Possibly Get Any Worse

It does.

Memo: Workers Threatened Over Prison Abuse

By PAISLEY DODDS, Associated Press Writer

U.S. special forces accused of abusing prisoners in Iraq threatened Defense Intelligence Agency personnel who saw the mistreatment, according to U.S. government memos released Tuesday by the American Civil Liberties Union.

The special forces also monitored e-mails sent by defense personnel and ordered them "not to talk to anyone" in the United States about what they saw, said one memo written by the Defense Intelligence Agency chief, who complained to his Pentagon bosses about the harassment.
...

An e-mail to Thomas Harrington, an FBI counterterrorism expert who led a team of investigators to Guantanamo, records "somewhat heated" conversations in which Pentagon officials admitted that harsh interrogations did not yield any information not obtained by the FBI.
...

In the July 14 letter obtained by the AP, Harrington suggested that the Pentagon didn't act on FBI complaints about four incidents at Guantanamo, including a female interrogator grabbing a detainee's genitals and bending back his thumbs, another where most of a prisoner's head was covered with duct tape and a third where a dog was used to intimidate a detainee who later was thrown into isolation and showed signs of "extreme psychological trauma."

I really can't add anything to the article except the fact that the Bush administration's entire handling of "Terrorism" has been a complete and utter disaster AND failure. Yes, I think those are two distinct, separate things. And yes, I seem to say this with every news article that comes out, but every time I think the Bush administration can't top itself, it goes ahead and does.

The other thing I wanted to add was, that I was remembering FOX's Guantanamo Special they had with that news anchor with the man's voice. You know who I'm talking about. Anyways, she visited Gitmo, and the inmates were playing chess and supposedly talked to interrogators for "favors". I guess I'm just trying to say what everyone said a few months ago. Fox's loyal viewers are, by far, the least informed and least skeptical bunch of rubes you would ever want to meet.

Question: What would you tell an interrogator who had your nads in a vise-grip?
Answer: Anything he wanted.

Are You Chunky?

Maybe you should get more sleep. This is good news for me. I thought the spare tire I was working on was because of beer and fatty McFatFatt food. Turns out the problem wasn't the deep-fried Twinkies, it was sleep.

I do actually get only 6 hours of sleep per night (by choice), so this could explain my push to 200 pounds. To me, there is nothing more worthless than sleep. It's just so....boring. But apparently it like regulates some crap inside you....or something.

Losing sleep can raise levels of hormones linked with appetite and eating behavior, the researchers said.

In one study, people who slept only four hours a night for two nights had an 18 percent reduction in leptin, a hormone that tells the brain there is no need for more food, and a 28 percent increase in ghrelin, which triggers hunger.

I'm pretty sure the word "ghrelin" is a made-up word, not that I'm a medical expert or anything. You can read the article here.

A second study found that the less people sleep, the more they weigh, using a measure called body mass index, which scales weight to height. It also found lower leptin levels and higher ghrelin levels in people who slept less.

Leptin.....rrrrrrrright. I wouldn't lose any magical fairy dust either. In all seriousness though, this is the easiest diet plan out there:

Patient: Doctor, I need to lose some weight.
Doctor: How much sleep are you getting per night?
Patient: About 5 hours.
Doctor: Get some sleep fatass....

Oh Red States...

If we Blue-Stater, sodomizing, immoral fags could be more like you.......then maybe this wouldn't be sweet, sweet justice.....

Moral Mandate my ass...

Daily Howler Debunks "Free" Money with Privatization

Here.

Not for the faint of heart.

This Just In...Gays Want to be Treated Equally

BREAKING NEWS!!!! FAGGOTS EXPECT EQUAL RIGHTS!!!! RIGHT-WINGERS STUNNED, THOUGHT THEY HAD OUTBREAK NIPPED IN THE BUD, SO-TO-SPEAK!!!!

All the details here.

Twelve gays who were expelled from the military because of their sexual orientation filed a lawsuit Monday challenging the Pentagon’s 11-year-old “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy.

The federal lawsuit, filed in Boston, would cite last year’s landmark Supreme Court ruling that overturned state laws making gay sex a crime.

Okay, so any OTHER Supreme Court, besides the one with Antwan Scalia and Clarence Thomas would easily see "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" as unconstitutional, but here's hoping.

Just a Tip

If you're not checking James Wolcott's site at least every other day, you should be.

Bill Frist, Majority Leader, Senator, Doctor (Sorta)

Frist's professional opinion on the recent Government-funded report stating that AIDS could be transmitted through sweat and tears (via Pandagon) ?:

Yeah, no, I can tell you that HIV is not very transmissible as an element like, compared to smallpox, compared to the flu. It is not, but the first slide, because I think it's dangerous to show that and then sort of walk away.

Whew, thanks. I couldn't tell if Frist was gunning for President or not.....

A Riddle

What has John Kerry done that W. hasn't once?

Answer here.

It's Like "Where's Waldo?"

Can you find the error in this picture?

I'll File this Under, "Gee, I Wonder Why?"

From Media Matters:

Earlier in the program, in discussing the Bush administration's announcement that the U.S. presence in Iraq will increase by 12,000 troops, Falwell said, "I think [the war] is going well," adding: "CNN doesn't always get it right, but it goes pretty well if you watch it on FOX [News Channel]."

Thanks Captain Obvious. I didn't know the Fox News Channel was a Corporate Whore for the Bush Administration.

From a Soldier

"It scares the shit out of me that there is a single soul in this country that can still be in support of George W. Bush."

And that was the nice part.

Again, if You're Not Reading the Poor Man

You should be. Read the whole thing here [all emphasis mine] :

This is about fear - the fear that the theory of evolution points out a flaw in a world view which puts them in a privileged position in the universe. In this construction, having "moral values" is code for publicly upholding black-and-white rules which are gerrymandered so as to always prove that you are right and everyone else is wrong, and uphold these rules in the face of overwhelming evidence to the contrary. This is how it is possible to treat a bad Mel Gibson movie about how an innocent Middle Eastern man was tortured to death 2,000 years ago by an occupying army as an important cultural moment and moral lesson, and then consider our occupying armies torturing some unknown number of Middle Eastern men to death no big deal, and then reward the folks who ordered this torture with another term in office using as your justification "moral values". There may not be much point in making rational appeals here. Rationality may be the problem.

Yeah, what he said.

All Cereal Restaurant?

Uhhh.....yeah. I had the idea when I was 8. Where's my cut?!?

Cereality also offers its own combos with names reminiscent of Ben and Jerry's ice creams. John Merz, a 27-year-old Penn employee, was bowled over by Devil Made Me Do It — an ambrosial elixir of Cocoa Puffs, Lucky Charms, chocolate crunchies and malt balls, topped with milk.

Emphasis mine....Ugh. Maybe it wasn't such a good idea.....pass the Frosted Flakes.

Take Place in the "My Soldier" Program

Here. (Link courtesy Veruka's America)

My Soldier is a program that puts politics aside and lets U.S. soldiers know that someone back home cares. When a person enrolls in the My Soldier program, they agree to adopt a soldier. They receive a “starter kit” containing guidelines for letter writing and care package preparation, a red My Soldier bracelet, and a specially designed My Soldier baseball hat to include with the first letter they send to their deployed United States Armed Serviceperson. The first letter/care package they send is addressed to their soldier's platoon contact who then distributes it to their soldier. The soldier then replies and direct correspondence begins (about 80% of soldiers respond, but 100% appreciate getting the letters). The program is free. To sign up, click the link above.

Rudolph

Anyone that doesn't think Rudolph is the best Holiday animation/clay-mation ever is a punk.

Charlie: I am the official sentry of the Isle of Misfit toys. My name is...
Rudolph: Don't tell me: Jack.
Charlie: No, Charlie. That's why I'm a misfit toy. My name is all wrong. No child wants to play with a Charlie-In-The-Box so I had to come here.

The So-Called Liberal Media....

Can suck it. Really. They don't want to play a commercial that advocates including gays.

The CBS and NBC television networks are refusing to run a 30-second television ad from the United Church of Christ because its all-inclusive welcome has been deemed "too controversial."
...
"Because this commercial touches on the exclusion of gay couples and other minority groups by other individuals and organizations," reads an explanation from CBS, "and the fact the Executive Branch has recently proposed a Constitutional Amendment to define marriage as a union between a man and a woman, this spot is unacceptable for broadcast on the [CBS and UPN] networks."
...
"It's ironic that after a political season awash in commercials based on fear and deception by both parties seen on all the major networks, an ad with a message of welcome and inclusion would be deemed too controversial," says the Rev. John H. Thomas, the UCC's general minister and president. "What's going on here?"

Can this country kowtow to the conservative right anymore? Is it even possible? What happened to that freedom of speech thing? The election's over right? We can't advocate inclusiveness anymore? Is that too controversial? F everybody.......

Update: Hey NBC, go shove Will & Grace up your ass....

U.S. to Expand Military Force in Iraq

Blah Blah Blah...poor planning...administration sucks....